So...What do I eat?

I’ve talked quite a bit on this blog about the philosophy I’ve taken with my eating habits during my weight loss journey, but to this point, haven’t discussed, in detail what it is I’m actually eating these days.  Someone asked me recently, “So…what DO you eat?”  I thought I’d share a bit about it today!

Since I’m pretty new to this whole blogging thing and don’t know the rules about mentioning name brands (can I do that?) for now, I’ll stick to generalities.  If you want specific brand name information, email me at polytospan@gmail.com and I’ll be glad to tell you more.

First things first, as I’ve said before, I use a website and its mobile app to track my calories on a daily basis.  It takes approximately 5 minutes a day to keep up with, and truly, has been key to my success.  Tracking, along with measuring and making sure I’m actually eating the appropriate sized servings, is what has made all the difference for me.  I have a measuring cup and a cheap digital food scale at home, and a measuring cup in my desk drawer at work.  That’s the extent of my weight loss gadgets and gizmos or accessories!

I entered my height, starting weight, age and gender into the tracking app when I first began, along with my goal of losing 2 pounds per week, and it calculated the total number of calories I needed to eat per day to reach that goal.  It also gave me targets for things like fat, carbs, sodium, protein, cholesterol, etc.  Honestly, I haven’t focused on trying to reach the nutrient goals, because the food choices I’ve made within the calorie goal automatically makes me reach the nutrient goals.

When I first began, I was eating around 2,200 calories per day.  With each 10-pound weight loss, the app would reset my goals and my calorie allotment would go down according to my new weight.  As of today, my goal is 1,610 calories per day.  Because the calorie goal goes down slowly and incrementally, you don’t really notice it and it’s not a big deal.  It’s not like it makes you decrease by 500 calories overnight!

A sample of what I might eat in a day now, taken from my actual food journal looks like this:

BREAKFAST

1.5 cups multigrain cereal 165 calories

1 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk 35 calories

2 clementines 70 calories

SNACK

½ cup diced peaches 35 calories

1 cup blueberries 80 calories

LUNCH

2 slices high fiber multigrain bread 70 calories

1 wedge light cheese wedge 35 calories

6 slices deli turkey 50 calories

15 chips, baked potato chips 120 calories

2 tablespoons hummus 70 calories

SNACK

4oz. high fiber blueberry yogurt 50 calories

1 cup raw broccoli 25 calories

DINNER

6 oz. boneless pork loin 210 calories

1 cup broccoli 25 calories

½ cup corn 75 calories

½ cup roasted garlic mashed potatoes 120 calories

1 slice high fiber multigrain bread 35 calories

mixed greens side salad with cheese, croutons, tomatoes, cucumbers 110 calories

2 tablespoons fat-free dressing 45 calories

SNACK

1 serving drizzled popcorn pack 120 calories

TOTAL 1545 calories for the day

So, there you have it!  I eat all day long, as you can see, so it keeps me from ever feeling like I’m deprived or overly hungry.  It keeps my metabolism running smoothly and constantly, without overdoing it any one meal.  Our family also eats out a lot, so I'll address restaurants in another post some other day.

I’m eating real food, regular food, but in the correct serving sizes, and with attention to the choices I make.  Yes, I love broccoli and blueberries, and eat LOTS of them regularly, but I also couldn’t imagine life without bread or mashed potatoes!  I’ve simply found better options and healthier ways of preparing the things I really enjoy and have them in moderation.  I get to eat the same foods as the rest of my family, and we’re all healthier as a result.  I can live with that!

Caught in the Current

In the 10 months since I began my weight loss journey, I’ve been asked several times what it is I’m doing to lose the weight.  When I respond that I’m counting calories and keeping a food journal (which takes all of 5 minutes a day to facilitate), along with making better choices about what and how much I eat, most people have been hesitant to believe that is “all” I’m doing. 

(Yes, I did exercise a couple times a week for the first couple of months, and I’ve had the sporadic day or two here or there that I’ve done a little walking, but to this point, I have not engaged in any kind of regular exercise routine or committed to a workout schedule.  I need to, and I will.  I just haven’t gotten that worked into my schedule the way I’d like to just yet.  That’s my next mountain to conquer…)

Anyway…what I most often encounter is people asking me if I’ve tried some popular fad diet plan or the other, like:

           

            Have I used this meal-replacement plan?

            Did I drop a particular food type?

            Have I joined an accountability club? 

            Did my doctor prescribe something to help me? 

            Have I heard about that new appetite suppressant? 

            Am I doing the plan they talked about on that recent television show?

            You're only eating (fill in the blank) salads/protein/low-fat, etc. right?

The list goes on and on, but the honest answer to all the questions is a resounding “NO!” 

Yes, I have seen all the ads (read: mostly sensationalized hype!) and even personally known people who have experienced a measure of fast results from using these kinds of products and services.  At the end of the day though, here’s the real question…if you choose this route, is it something you can live with for the rest of your life?  For some people, the answer is a modified "yes" because they find their own way of incorporating these tools into their world and it works for them.  As long as it's a healthy choice in doing so, I'm all for it.  For other people, these things can be successfully used for a short period of time as a tool or quickstart before transitioning over to something more long term, and that's great as well. 

The truth is, however, for most people and most of the “get skinny quick” options, they are simply not sustainable over the long haul.  So many people that use them end up gaining back all they lost and then some and people find themselves utterly disappointed when they discontinue using them and the weight creeps back up.  Most of these programs don’t teach you how to go to birthday parties and fellowship dinners.  They don’t take into account holidays and anniversaries and other special occasions.  They don’t help you find ways to cook meals that your entire family can (and will) eat together each day, or what the best choice is when you go to a restaurant.  They don’t enable you to build the knowledge and resources it takes to succeed with life-long, successful weight loss that will carry you through every bite you take for the rest of your life. 

There is a flood of weight-loss options out there today, but for me, I’ve realized that I can’t let myself get swept away in the pull of the current.  Sometimes, it can sound tempting.  After all, if you’re trying hard to lose weight, who wouldn’t want to lose several pounds in just a few days, or melt away belly flab overnight???  But the reality is that I have to stick with the basic concepts of eating the right foods in the right amounts every day.  I’m working to reverse almost 40 years of poor eating habits, and I can’t get that in a pill, or powder and it doesn't happen overnight.  I can’t rely on a temporary formula to cause a permanent change.  I must do this, one bite at a time!

Months 9 and 10 Progress Updates

I just passed my 10-month mark and I realized that I never posted an update last month, so here are the recent stats:

            At my 9-month weigh-in, I had lost a total of 79.6 pounds, which included 5.5 pounds for the month.

           

            At my 10-month weigh-in, I had lost a grand total of 85.9 pounds, which was 6.6 pounds for the month.

           

            I have lost 26.2 pounds so far during calendar year 2012

            I have lost a grand total of 88.8 pounds

There you have it!

Walking and Laughing

When I first began my weight loss journey last June, right out of the gate I began working out 3 - 4 times per week.  I started with a Biggest Loser program for the Wii, doing everything from boxing to yoga, and then threw in some balance ball work for good measure.  In November, I blew out a hamstring and my exercise came to a screeching halt.  In the last several days, however, I've been trying to motivate myself to get up and moving again.  I've still been eating properly and losing weight steadily, but I know I need to start working on building muscle and improving my overall fitness as I lose.

So, that brings me to today...there is a sidewalk that runs around the outside perimeter of the office building where I work, and it is a bit over 1/10th of a mile to walk one lap (approximately 240 steps for me to make one lap, for those who look at it as steps taken, yes, I've counted!).  I only take 30 minutes for lunch, so I've been trying to take part of that time and go out and walk anywhere from 5 to 10 quick laps every day when it's not raining.  It's not very exciting, but it goes by quick and it's getting the job done and getting me back into the swing of things.

I don't particularly like to listen to music while I work out.  Perhaps it's all the years I spent in marching band throughout high school and college, but I tend to pace myself to the tempo of whatever music is playing rather than keeping up with the speed or intensity I really need to be at during exercise.  As a result, I typically listen to preaching podcasts, audiobooks, or to other speakers while I work out, and walking is no exception. 

Today, I happened to pick one of my new favorites, a humorist named Jeanne Robertson.  With my earbuds plugged in, I was listening to her tell funny stories as she exampled living a life that finds the humor in every situation.  Since it was lunchtime, several people were coming and going around the building, and I noticed I was getting lots of strange looks.  Then, I caught a glimpse of myself in one of the windows, and saw that I was walking around with this huge goofy grin on my face, and realized I had also been laughing out loud as I walked!  Since my hair covers the earbuds, people must have thought I was loopy!  There I was...just walking and laughing, going around...and around...and around the building!

                   "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine" Proverbs 17:22

Daddy's Example

Today is the 12-year anniversary of the death of my dad.  When I think back, there is so much emotion tied to my childhood and young adult years where he is concerned, but I will not delve into that here.  Suffice it to say that I am so very thankful that my dad chose to receive Christ into his life a few months before he died, and the knowledge that I’ll spend eternity with him in heaven brings peace and joy to my heart, and I’m thankful for the handful of beautiful memories our family has from the last few months he was alive.

What is pertinent to my weight loss journey and this blog, however, is the terrible relationship my dad had with food, and the example it set for me while I was growing up.  As a young man, my dad was very trim, and so handsome!  Looking at my mom and dad’s wedding photos, he very much resembled Clark Gable when he played the role of Rhett Butler in “Gone With the Wind”.  As the years went by though, my dad became less and less active, all the while eating more and more, and it took a toll on his body.

Never one to eat breakfast, my mom would pack lunches for my dad to carry to work with him, and typically, he wanted nothing more than a sandwich or two and a bag of chips.  When he got home from work is when the real eating would begin.  My mom always prepared large dinner meals, usually consisting of a meat, two or three side dishes (most of which were processed foods), and a salad, and there was always ice cream, donuts, and other sweets around for dessert.  After eating large portions of everything she prepared, along with a 32oz. glass of sweet tea, Daddy would go to their bedroom to watch television before going to sleep.  Within an hour, he would begin snacking, which might consist of an entire package of cookies, or a whole box of cereal.  Another of his regular snacks was a jar of peanut butter mixed with a jar of jelly, eaten with either a half loaf of bread or a half box of crackers, and another 32oz. glass of milk.  Sometimes he would have more than one of these enormous snacks in the same evening.

Every so often, my dad would bounce to the other extreme with his eating patterns.  He would decide that he had put on too much weight, and he would get angry about it.  He would blame my mother, saying that she wasn’t cooking healthy meals for our family, and demand that she only fix him salads with cottage cheese for lunch and for dinner.  Mama would comply, but within a day or two, Daddy was eating his salads during the day, and would revert back to his snacks at night, and before you knew it, he’d want to return to the regular meals Mama had always made and the cycle would begin all over again.

I can honestly say that I loved my dad dearly, but I don’t ever want to be like him where food is concerned.  I don’t know what he weighed when he died, but if I had to guess, I would say he had to have been in the 400-500 pound range.  He was 54 years old and died from a massive heart attack that just very well may have been prevented if he had lived a healthier lifestyle.  I hate to think of all the things he missed out on…he never got to meet my wonderful husband or walk me down the aisle at our wedding…he never got to be Papaw to my children…he never got to enjoy his retirement years off of work…he never got to know two of my sister’s beautiful children…he never got to fulfill his dream of visiting Ireland…the list goes on and on…

So…one of the reasons why I’ve committed to my own weight loss journey is that I don’t want my life to be characterized by the “I never’s…”  I want to be able to be a great example of a healthy lifestyle for my own children, and to live my life fully, every single day.

I love you Daddy, and I miss you terribly…but I refuse to be like you…

Blueberries or Chocolate?

Every day, I eat within a certain amount of calories which, based on my height and current weight and a few other factors, is supposed to be the right amount for me to lose at a healthy rate of about 2 pounds per week.  That amount is calculated by the food journal app I use on my phone, and so far, it has been extremely accurate.  Having a daily calorie “budget” to work with means that some days are more challenging than others when it comes planning my meals, but more often than not, I usually end the day with anywhere from 100-300 calories that I haven’t eaten by the time dinner is over. 

All that being said, a few days ago, I came to the end of the day and realized I still had almost 500 calories left I hadn’t eaten.  My husband had bought a bag of peanut butter M&M’s, which used to be one of my favorite candies.  Before you think that it was mean of him to even bring them into the house, I’ll tell you that, from the beginning, my weight loss journey has been about learning to live my life by making healthy choices, portion control, and moderation in my relationship with food.  Part of that, is knowing that I cannot isolate myself into a sugar-free world!  I’ll be faced with holidays, birthday parties, and every other celebration and sweet snack-fest imaginable for the rest of my life…and I needed to learn how to eat with balance, instead of abandon, in every situation.  So, I can’t be afraid of sweets being in my house.

Back to the M&M’s…With so many calories left for the day, I decided to have some.  I measured an exact portion (yes, I weighed candy on my food scale!), which would still only use half of the calories I had available.  I sat down to eat them, and after the first two, realized that they just didn’t taste very sweet to me, and I wasn’t really enjoying them like I used to.  The following morning, I grabbed a handful of fresh blueberries at breakfast and had the startling realization that the blueberries tasted much sweeter, and were far more satisfying to me than the candy was the night before! 

Most changes are hard to make, initially.  A year ago, you never could have convinced me that I’d rather have blueberries than chocolate.  I’m sorry to say that, in the past, I was “that person”…you know, the one who couldn’t keep a bag of candy in my desk drawer for an entire day…if I opened it at 8am, it would be empty by 3pm, with nothing to show for it but a pile of empty wrappers and another pound added to my hips.  But today, little more than 8 months later, I’m a completely different person than I was back then.  It’s not that I have to make myself stay away from the junk food anymore, I just really don’t even want it these days. 

Throughout these last several months, one of my prayers has been something along the lines of, “Lord, help me to change my eating habits.  I want to make good choices that are healthy for my body and pleasing to You.”  I believe He has answered my prayer and that God is truly helping me make the changes I could not possibly make on my own.  For that, I am most thankful!

“O taste and see that the LORD is good…” Psalm 34:8

Shopping Victory

February is over, and I’m happy to report that I lost 15.2 pounds in the first two months of 2012.  I would have liked it to have been more, but when you’re losing weight, the tendency is to ALWAYS want it to have been more than whatever it actually was for any given period of time! I’m working hard and have a goal of reaching the major milestone of the 100 pounds lost mark sometime in May and feel great about my progress towards that goal.

Let me share another milestone...

As long as I can ever remember, I’ve always had to purchase my clothes from exclusively “plus-sized” stores.  Even as a 12-year-old, my mom was buying my clothes from a shop back home in Michigan that was called “14/16 Plus” (not something you want to admit, especially at that age!).  For my entire adult life, I’ve been limited to two stores, and a couple of mail-order catalogs to find my size.  The plus sized sections of most regular stores didn't even carry my size.  When you’re someone who loves cute clothes like I do, it’s awful to be so limited in your choices!

A couple of weeks ago, I got the wild idea to try ordering a pair of jeans from Old Navy.  While they don’t carry larger sizes in their stores, they do have their own plus-sized line available through their website.  The avid shopper I am, I got carried away and ordered not just the pair of jeans, but also a denim skirt as well, fully believing that they would arrive and not even be close to fitting, and I would have to put them away and try them on again after I lose a lot more weight.  To my great surprise, the jeans fit beautifully, and after the few pounds I’ve lost since they arrived, they’re starting to feel a bit loose in the waist already!  The skirt though…WAY TOO BIG!!!  I’ve actually had to send it back to exchange it for a smaller size! 

Now, being excited that a skirt is too big may seem silly to most people, but for me, it felt like a huge victory!  Just to be able to shop at a “regular” store (albeit through their plus-sized line), is something I’ve never been able to do before, and feels ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!  I can’t wait to make it out of the plus-sizes altogether so that I can walk into any store I want to shop in, and the best thing is, I know that day is coming!

Cheerleaders

I have passed the 75 pounds lost milestone!  I should have posted a few days ago to celebrate, but have been so busy, I haven’t had a chance.  I am currently at a total loss of 77.8 pounds, as of this morning.  That 100 pound mark will be here before I know it!

As I continue to lose weight, I’m finding people’s reactions to be interesting.  A few snippets:

Back when I was at the 63 pounds lost mark, I went to new doctor, and as he was reviewing the nurses notes and doing his intake assessment, he looked at the notes, then up at me, then back to his notes, then looked at me and asked, “You’ve LOST 63 pounds???” The tone in his voice and the look on his face said he thought the nurse had written it down wrong and that it was more likely that I had GAINED the weight, instead of losing it.  I responded saying, “YES!  I have LOST the weight…”  He replied, “Oh, okay.  I wasn’t sure if I had read that right…”

On the flip side…

I went for a visit to my regular primary care physician’s office right around the 70 pounds lost mark, and the nurse was so excited when she read the number on the scale.  She then asked me how in the world I was doing it, and proceeded to write down everything I told her, saying that I looked wonderful and that she needed to do whatever I was doing!

On another occasion…

I attended an event recently, and a good friend came by my table and asked me how much I had lost.  At that point, it was 74 pounds.  She was very encouraging to me about it, and as she walked away, I felt great about myself!  Another person at the table, however, looked me up and down, raised an eyebrow, and said, “74 pounds?  Really???” With a look that clearly stated that she didn’t believe I had lost weight.

I guess I share all of that, to say, that the realization I’ve had is this…

Not everyone is going to be my cheerleader…and I’m okay with that!

Weight loss is something very personal.  And, while some people may notice the changes I’m experiencing and comment positively, others may not.  In the end, it doesn’t really matter what others may think, because I’m doing this, first and foremost, to be obedient to the things I believe God has spoken to me.  I’m also doing this to become healthier and to beat the odds that my extended family has established and experienced in the past.  I’ve been blessed to be very healthy to this point, and that’s the way I want to keep it as I get older.  I want to be able to be active with my family, and in the ministry, and I don’t want to be hindered by illness or mobility issues.  Those are just a few of the reasons for me to lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle.

Even though everyone I encounter certainly won’t care about my journey, I’ve been blessed with a handful of close friends who are such an encouragement to me, and those are the voices I have chosen to allow to speak into my life.  To each of you, I say a huge THANK YOU!!! 

8 Months – 74.1 pounds

I have just crossed the 8-month mark in my journey.  During the month, I lost 6.8 pounds, which brings me to a grand total 74.1 pounds so far.  I’m happy with my progress, but I would have liked to have crossed the 75-pound mark this month.  It’s so close!

In the last few days, I think that I have caught some kind of mental “second wind” so to speak.  When I started on this path, I set several goals for myself.  I’ve been trying to focus on these smaller, “mini-goals” to keep myself encouraged and motivated along the way.  It has been good to feel the sense of accomplishment that has come every so often with reaching those levels.  They have come in different forms.  For instance, while some are specific pounds to lose, others include being able to wear a smaller size jeans, increased endurance while walking longer distances, and getting rid of all of the clothes I had in my closet that were too big. 

From the beginning, however, the number of pounds I need to lose to reach my ultimate goal weight has seemed ridiculous, it’s so large a number, and I’ve had so many times where I doubted that I could ever lose that much.  I want to...I need to…I’m trying to…but I often wondered if I really could?  This week, though, something has changed in me.  For the first time since I began, I really and truly believe that I will reach my ultimate goal.  It doesn’t feel like something I’m just hoping and trying to do, but is something I am actually going to accomplish! 

A good friend sent me an email this morning.  She told me that when our pastors were standing up front at church this past Sunday morning, that when she saw me, at first, she didn’t realize it was me because my face had changed so much with my weight loss.  Her words were a great encouragement to me, and as the day has went on, I’ve been thinking a lot about her statement.  My friend may have been talking about my outward appearance, but when I look inside myself these days, I hardly recognize myself either.  I’ve realized that I’m losing more than just pounds…

Gone are the excuses as to why I got as heavy as I did. 

Gone is the lax attitude I had about gaining weight (I’ve been overweight my entire life, but was shocked to realize that, before I started working on losing weight last June, I had gained, on average, a pound a month for the prior seven years!)

Gone is the girl who would stand in front of the mirror and weep because she was so disgusted with herself. 

Gone is the feeling of helplessness about my weight.

Gone is the fear of failure.

In place of these things, there stands a strong woman.  One who can accomplish much and has no reason to limit herself.  One who now understands that she is not alone.  Her isolation was self-imposed, and she will never return to that place again.  One who knows that her heavenly father cares about every aspect of her life in a whole new way.  One who will live the rest of her life in freedom!

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”  Philippians 4:13

7 Months, 67.3 Pounds

Time for a progress update!  As of my month 7 weigh in on 1/17/12, I’ve officially lost 67.3 pounds, which means I lost a total of 6 pounds for the month (because of the date I started, I do my official monthly weigh-in’s on the 17^th of each month).  This has been the lowest monthly loss I’ve had since I started this journey, and while I’m not too pleased with that number, I at least know exactly where it came from and why it wasn’t more.  Basically, From December 8, 2011 through January 4, 2012, I allowed myself extra calories for the holiday season, and during that time, I only lost 1.3 pounds.  Not stellar performance, by far, but I held my ground, and I guess that’s the point of a maintenance phase!  On January 5, 2012, I returned to eating at a loss level, and as of this morning, I’ve lost 5.1 pounds in the last 13 days.  Now, that feels more like it!

On a fun note…I spent several hours this past weekend cleaning out my closets, and although that normally seems like a chore, it was fun seeing how many things just don’t fit anymore because they’re way too big!  Admittedly, I am a “clothes-a-holic” although I will note that I’m also the queen of clearance shopping and typically don’t pay anywhere near full price for anything.  I may shop a lot, but I don’t spend a lot, so my husband doesn’t roll his eyes at me too much when I come home with something new.  J 

It’s interesting, the emotional connection we can develop to certain clothing items.  As I pulled each garment out of my closet, I thought of times I had worn each one…the dress I left the church in after our reception when my husband and I got married…the jacket I wore when I sang with our church worship team and we did a live video recording for our TV broadcast…the outfit I put together for a job interview…a beautiful sequined black dress I wore to a Christmas party…the list goes on and on (I have a big closet!) Anyway, while I did keep my wedding dress and my get-away dress for sentimental reasons, there was something incredibly refreshing about pulling out all those other things.  This is a new season in my life, and while I have wonderful memories of the past, I’m ready to embrace the future…while wearing a much smaller size!

Now, I just need to find a way to sell what I don’t need any more.  I’ve given away about half of what I had, and am hopeful to sell the other half to generate some funds for new purchases as I lose and continue to need smaller sizes.  I’ve got a lot…like 10-12 large plastic totes full.  I’d love to sell them all in one lot, since it’s a complete year-round wardrobe, and don’t really want to hassle with a consignment shop or yard sale.  Feel free to leave me a comment if you have any suggestions!

One Pound at at TIme

Just a quick post to say how excited I was when I stepped onto the scale this morning!  After spending the last two weeks in "maintenance mode" and allowing myself a few extra calories per day over the holidays, I re-set my daily intake back to my loss level on Tuesday.  In the last two days since then, I've lost 1.1 pounds.  What makes that feel even better, is that loss is off of my pre-holiday weight.  I didn't gain anything over the holidays, so I'm not having to make up any lost ground.  Yippeee!!  63.7 pounds in total now and I'm ready to hit it hard in this new year!

The Pit of Comparison

Last night I sat down to watch the premiere of the new run of "The Biggest Loser" on TV.  Of all the many years this particular show has been on, I've only watched one or two seasons of it.  With as busy as my schedule tends to be, I just don't have the ability to watch any show on a regular basis, but that's not the only reason.  If I'm truthful with myself, another reason I haven't watched it in the past is because I had a hard time watching other people do what I longed to do myself, but had not done, which was lose weight. 

When I decided to watch the show yesterday, I approached it from a different perspective.  I thought that maybe I could learn a few things about various approaches to working out and pick up some pointers.  Or maybe I would feel encouraged, because I am working my own path to fitness, and maybe some contestant's story would ring similar to my own.  Instead, however, I experienced something I was not prepared for...as each of the contestants weighed in, I started comparing myself to each of them.  What was their starting weight?  What was my starting weight compared to theirs?  Was I really as big when I started as they look on TV at their starting point?  On and on it went, and by the end of the show, I was starting to feel depressed and felt like I had not accomplished much, if anything, in the last six months because they had lost so much in just one week (never mind the fact that they are secluded away with their only responsibilities being to work out and learn to eat right, alongside of professional trainers and unrestricted gym access!!!)

Wow!  What a mind trap that is brought on when you start comparing yourself to others!  I had to stop and re-focus myself before I let my thoughts take me too far.  When it comes to weight loss (and many, many other things in life, for that matter), you just cannot compare your progress with anyone else.  Each person's journey is as different and unique as each different body.  The foods and food habits I struggle with and am learning to overcome are different from other people's.  In addition, I had to reach a certain place in my own life before I was ready to committ to the changes that are necessary to bring my body into a healthy place, and each person has to do that themselves, in their own way.  No one can force it on anyone else, just like no one can expect their body to react the exact same way as anyone else's. 

Going forward, I refuse to make comparisons any more.  I will cheer for the accomplishments of others, and will not let their victories steal away my own!

6 Months and 61.3 Pounds Lighter!

Well, I'm almost two weeks late in putting up a 6-month post, but here it is!  I'm not really sure that anyone actually still reads my blog or not, seeing that my posts have become few and far between, but in any event, it will make for a good journal for myself to look back on, if nothing else.  :)

At my 6-month mark, I had lost a total of 61.3 pounds, and most of the time, I'm pretty happy about that.  Sometimes, though, when I look at how much more I still need to lose before reaching my ultimate goal, it can be very easy to get discouraged.  Isn't that how our big goals can get though?  So often, people are excited and motivated at the beginning of a journey, but then (as one pastor I heard called it) you find yourself trudging through "the valley of in-between" and things can go awry if you're not careful.  This is the place where the hard work really happens, and as a result, it's also the place that most people give up.  It's here that the new-ness of beginning the adventure has faded, but the finish line isn't yet in sight.  It's the place where I've had to stop and look and remind myself that I'll never get past the 100-pounds-lost mark if I don't make it past 60, 70, 80, and 90 first.  And that means that I have to do what I know is the best thing for my body, no matter what.

That being said, I'm happy to be able to say that the Christmas holiday season and it's selection of tempting treats has not gotten the best of me.  I purposely made the decision ahead of time that I would increase my daily calorie allowance for the last few days to put myself at a maintenance level, instead of a loss level.  It was the best way for me to be able to approach the parties, dinners, and events with a sense of balance.  I've still faithfully logged every bite I've eaten into my food journal to make sure I stay on track, and as I've stepped onto the scale each morning, I've experienced a great feeling of accomplishment.  I've eaten a couple of the cookies my boys made, enjoyed Christmas dinner and eating out with family and friends, and will have a piece of my son's birthday cake this weekend, all without guilt, and without adding any pounds.  In fact, I've still even lost a little during this time anyway!  In my opinion, that equals success!

As I prepare to return my daily caloric intake to loss levels again on Sunday, I look forward to launching into 2012 with the confidence of knowing that I will reach the 100-pounds-lost mark and beyond in this new year!  I CAN and WILL do this!

5 Months & 53 Pounds!

Well, I crossed the five month mark this week, and have lost a total of 53 pounds so far!  I'm thankful for the progress, and have set a mini-goal of losing at least another 10-12 pounds by the end of the year. 

If I'm honest about it, the past month has held its share of frustrations on this journey.  I managed to blow out a hamstring about two weeks ago, and while I'm recovering pretty well and walking without the crutches now, I'm still experiencing a great deal of pain in and behind my knee that has sidelined my aroebic exercise until it heals.  Maybe I just need to see it as a good opportunity to pull the balance ball back out and do some core strength training! 

The last few weeks have been pretty emotional for me.  I'm at the point where I've lost, what many people would say is a lot of weight.  I mean, I've lost more than my 5-year-old son weighs, and that's pretty exciting and makes me feel good about my accomplishments so far!  But at the same time, I have SO far still to go.  And that seems daunting some days.  I guess that's why I continually think of this as a journey.  There are no shortcuts.  It requires putting one foot in front of the other every single day, and one of these days, maybe even before I know it, I'll reach my goal, look back, and realize it was worth the trip!

Somebody Else's Clothes

I have officially crossed the 40 pounds lost mark!!!

While I’m excited about the progress I’m making, the interesting thing is that when I look in the mirror, I don’t really see that much of a difference yet.  I know that I’m losing well and consistently, and at a healthy rate, but I’m having a hard time visualizing it.  Where I am realizing the change, however, is in my clothes!  Everything that was tight 3 months ago, is now loose, and everything that fit well three months ago has gotten way too big.  While digging through my closet this week, I ran across a couple of shirts with the tags still on them that I bought on clearance at the end of the fall season last year and put away for this year.  They’re so big on me now that I will not be wearing them this year after all!  I think I see a trip to the consignment shop in my near future!

While my husband and I were talking about all of this last night, I told him that my clothes are getting so big on me, that I feel like I’m walking around in someone else’s clothes!  These things just don’t fit the new me!  The more I’ve thought about that, I’ve found that it bears a striking resemblance to certain aspects of a healthy, growing, spiritual walk in Christ.  Let me explain…

It’s like those areas in your life where God has spoken to you about change.  When you follow His leading, little by little, He begins to change the shape of your thoughts, dreams, and ideas.  At some point down the road, you realize that the mindsets you had before - the attitudes and actions that were comfortable like a pair of well-worn pair of jeans - just don’t fit who you are anymore.  God is helping you learn to become sharper, more focused, and more purposeful in your calling, and you may not even realize it until one day you are faced with a situation where you can either respond as the person you WERE or the person God is helping you BECOME.  To react with your old nature would be like me wearing my pants that are now too big…my hands are trying to hold them up at the waist, while they’re hanging so long I’m tripping over the hems and I’m rendered clumsy and ineffective.  To act from your new, changed place, however, is like wearing a custom-tailored garment.  It was made just for you!

“…take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you…” - Ephesians 4:22-24, The Message

33.3 in 3!

Well friends, today is the 3 month anniversary of my new, healthier lifestyle and I have officially lost 33.3 pounds in the past 3 months! 

I've been thinking a great deal lately about perseverance. As with most major changes people willingly make, there's an initial rush of excitement that fuels motivation, and although it starts you off with a bang, that warm and fuzzy feeling doesn't last forever. When the "honeymoon" phase is over, that's when you find out whether or not you truly made a committment to your decision, or whether it was merely a good thought at the time but not worth the effort to continue for the long haul.

In our early morning service at church on Sunday, I was listening to Pastor Paul talk about the Christian walk, and how it's not always about what you feel, it's about what you know to be true.  He went on to talk about how, if you just keep on doing what you know you're supposed to do, whether you feel like it or not, one day you're going to reap the reward of your faithfulness.  Although this is not a new concept to me, I had never really thought about it in terms of the decision I made to overhaul my lifestyle and strive for good health until I heard him preaching it this week.   

You see, over the last three months, I have kept a journal of EVERY SINGLE BITE of food I have eaten.  Since I am eating within a specific calorie count each day to target a healthy rate of weight loss, I use an app on my phone to log in everything I eat.  (So if you see me at a restaurant with my phone in my hand while looking through the menu, just know that I'm not THAT addicted to checking my email, I'm just trying to figure out what I can eat and get it logged!)  Even though I have a great affinity for all things numerical, organizational, and generally spreadsheet oriented, logging my food and seeing the nutritional content every time I eat is just not as "fun" as it was in the beginning. 

My commitment to logging my food and sticking to it, whether I feel like it or not, is paying off with each pound I lose.  In the process, I'm learning exactly what proper portions look like, I'm reviewing my nutritional intake on a macro level in addition to counting calories (which allows me to make sure my body is not just getting the right number of calories, but also the right balance of foods), and I'm instilling a sense of discipline in my life regarding food that I have never had before.  One day, when I reach my goal weight, I'll look back and know that it was definitely worth the time and effort I put into keeping up with my journal.  So...I'm going to keep on logging, whether I feel like it or not!

I Can't Believe I'm Saying This...

It's 9:30pm, and I've had a long, full day, involving working late, and then frustrations with my computer at home preventing me from getting all the work done here I needed to as quickly as I would have like to have finished this evening.  However, I can't go to bed yet...I actually WANT to go do my workout.  I never would have thought I would ever find myself combining the words "want" and "workout" in the same sentence, unless, of course, it began with "I do not..."! 

Good-Bye 25!

Saying "good-bye" to my first 25 pounds! Crossed it in my weigh-in this morning. Have now officially lost 25.8 pounds! So thankful!

I have set several mini-goals for myself in 25 pound increments and it feels good to have reached my first milestone in this journey. I still have a long way to go, but I believe that I'm finally on the right path.

For now...it's time to hit my morning workout, there's a fit-boxing routine with my name on it just waiting for me! :)

What a Difference Two Months Can Make!

Well, two months ago I began this journey towards a healthy lifestyle.  On June 16th I recorded my daily caloric intake without making any eating adjustments in order to get a baseline count of the way I had been eating, and on June 17th I began eating to stay within a healthy calorie count and proper nutritional values each day.  As a result, I’m so excited at the changes I’ve already been experiencing up to this point, including:

- So far, I have lost 23.4 pounds, which means I have been averaging about 2.75 pounds lost for each of the last 8.5 weeks.

- Most of my shirts are starting to get a bit billowy, and my pants are feeling baggy.  I have to wear my sweats and shorts that have ties in the waistband when I work out, or else I can’t hang onto them.

- For most people to look at me, they probably wouldn’t notice too much of a difference yet, but my husband can reach his arms around me farther when he hugs me.

- My six-year-old told me, “Mom, your arms and legs look smaller than before!”

- The space between me and the steering wheel in the car is growing wider.

- I have not had to take any acid reflux medicine in six weeks.  Every symptom of G.E.R.D. has completely disappeared!  (This is a HUGE milestone, considering the reflux had gotten so bad that I had been taking up to 2 reflux meds a day for several months, and it had even sent me to the ER on three separate occasions, one of which, the doctors thought I had been having a heart attack but it turned out to be reflux).

- The workouts I’ve been doing are helping to build my core strength and flexibility, and I seem to be experiencing a lessening of the pain I’ve had in my back for the last two years since I got hurt when I fell at the park.  I believe that the more weight I lose and the stronger I become, my back is going to be completely healed as well!

- I have not exceeded my daily calorie limit, not even once.  In fact, I am typically well under it each day.  In doing so, I’ve been able to make my new lifestyle fit within my family lifestyle, which includes eating out anywhere from 1-4 times per week and I have been eating the same meals with my family that we cook at home.  My entire family is benefitting from healthier choices at home! 

- I’ve also made it through church potlucks, holiday cookouts, birthdays, and other celebrations.  I haven’t felt deprived, but rather, have learned to use my organization and planning skills to prepare for each event ahead of time.  This isn’t a diet, it’s my new way of living.

- Through it all, I’m finding it refreshing to no longer be stuck in an unhealthy food rut, and I’m rejoicing in the strength and direction I have that can only come from God.  I’m finding a greater joy and satisfaction in Christ as I grow in this area of self-control. 

I’m so thankful to have finally moved out of just wishing and dreaming about losing weight and getting healthy, and have stepped into the realm of identifying a clear vision for the future, setting goals, and actually doing something about advancing towards those goals.

I praise God for change!

Refuse to Settle

Several years ago, back before I was married, a good friend of mine used to always tell me, “Don’t ever settle for less than God’s best for you!”  In that particular context, she was encouraging me to make sure that the man I allowed to court me was a man of honor and integrity, who exhibited godly character and actions.  I internalized her admonition, and although at times it made me seem picky in others’ eyes, it resulted in me marrying the most incredible man God could have given me.  He surpassed my wildest dreams and I in no way settled.  My husband truly is my Superman!

Recently, I’ve been reminded of that wise counsel of my friend, as I have been on this journey towards a healthy lifestyle.  I’ve just finished reading a book that really hit home for me titled “Made to Crave” by Lysa TerKeurst.  In it, the author encourages her readers to refuse to settle for less than God’s best when it comes to the way they treat their body and what they allow into it.  Wow…what an eye opening concept for me! 

Those who know me well know that I have pretty high standards in most areas.  I work hard and when I commit to something, I give it everything I’ve got.  Even though I may not always attain it, I really strive for excellence in everything I do…or so I thought.  I’ve come to realize that, for years now, I have been settling for far less than the best God has for me with my weight and health, and have not been walking in the excellence He designed me to have in this area.  As a result, I’ve found myself repenting before God for my careless, “come what may” attitude towards eating.  The beautiful thing?  God hears, forgives, and gives me the strength to change.

One of the biggest truths I have learned over the last few weeks is that, as Lysa TerKeurst put it, I am on a, “significant spiritual journey with great physical benefits.”