Comparison Photos

Me December 2010, about 6 months before starting to lose weight,
close to my highest weight ever.

Me June 2012, just over 12 months in and down 106 pounds.

Me July 2012, 13 months in and down 114.6 pounds.
(Ignore the fact that I was having a bad hair day and had it all pulled back into a pony tail you can't see in the picture!)







I Like It! I Really Like It!

As someone who has been overweight practically my entire life, physical activity is not something I have ever really enjoyed.  With a family that had no interest in sports, the outdoors, or anything that required any kind of physical activity, I was never encouraged to participate in anything that would promote physical fitness and my family never did anything like this together. As a child and teen, the required gym classes in school were complete torture for me.  Things like running relay races, rope climbing, or even playing games like basketball were never fun, but instead, typically left me in tears because I never had the strength, speed, stamina, or energy my classmates always seemed to have. 

The one exception came during high school, when my love of playing music and acting edged out my hatred of being active only slightly, but it was enough that I was in the marching band throughout high school and for one year of college, and performed in many stage shows that involved choreography and basic dance.  I credit my involvement in these activities as helping me keep from gaining even more weight than I did when I was younger. 

When I first started my weight loss journey 13 months ago, I did a little bit of exercise in the beginning, but my heart really wasn’t in it.  I dove into the deep end immediately where my food changes were concerned, but I still made a lot of excuses for not working out regularly.  I still felt like the chubby little kid that just wasn’t cut out for exercise, so I pretty much gave it up until I was 11 months in and had lost almost 100 pounds.  It was at that point I resigned myself to the fact that I really needed to start working on toning while I continued to lose and move forward towards my goal weight.

Over the last 2 months since I joined the gym, things have changed drastically for me.  I have found that I actually love working out!  I won’t sugar-coat it…it’s been hard work, but as the saying goes, “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you!”  I checked in with a trainer before I got started initially, and he gave me specific instructions for both cardio and strength work to do 3 times each week at the gym, and he told me to make sure to get in an hour of some other exercise (swimming, group classes, at home DVD’s, etc.) at least 2 other days each week.  At the end of each month, the trainer works with me again to assess my progress and add new things to my workout program, which has involved adding new exercises as well as increasing sets and reps, and increasing how much weight I’m lifting. 

For the first time in my life, I can truly say that I look forward to exercising.  I don’t give up half-way through, and I don’t skip out or cheat on my schedule.  I have made it a priority.  Some days I go to the gym at 5:30am, other days I go at 5:00pm.  Some days I’m in the middle of my living room with the furniture pushed back and the dog trying to stay out of my way.  Wherever or whenever, I am determined to take care of my body and work towards making it the best it can possibly be.  I have dumped the excuses, and instead have chosen to view each workout like this:

Exercise…

I don’t stop when I’m tired.

I don’t stop when I don’t feel like doing it.

I don’t stop when it hurts.

I stop when I’m done.

Taking Inventory

Our children are getting ready to start back to their new school year in just a few weeks, and in preparation, my husband and I have been talking about what new school clothes we need to buy for each of them.  Since our school district wears uniforms, our kids have to have two wardrobes, one with their shorts, slacks, and polo shirts for school, and one with their jeans and t-shirts and play clothes.  Since they haven't been wearing their school attire for the last couple of months (and have grown considerably over the summer as kids tend to do), we've been taking inventory this week to figure out what pieces each of the boys need for the new school year, and what garments they can still fit into from last year (which isn’t very much!)

So what does this have to do with weight loss?  I'm glad you asked!

It all comes down to this...

You have to figure out where you are before you can determine where you're going.

I can’t appropriately buy my kids the new school clothes they need unless I know what they’ve got in the closet.  I can think they are good on slacks and not buy any, then when the weather turns cold, find out all they have is one pair of pants that have the knees worn out of them.  In the same way, a person can think they're doing all right with how they're eating because they're “balancing” things with a diet soda and a salad occasionally, or bypassing a second trip to the buffet, or eating grilled chicken with rice from time to time, when in reality, their body is not getting the nutrition it needs to thrive, they're gaining weight from all the junk food, and all they’ve really putting into their body is coming up short!

When I first started on my path towards a healthy life through weight loss and exercise, I began my food journal.  I did not make any changes to what I was eating, but simply logged the calories (and other nutritional data) into the food journal app I have on my phone.  The reality of the number of calories I was regularly eating astounded me!  I promised myself I would never treat my body that poorly ever again.

Before I started losing weight, I was not someone who ate multiples of food (sometimes you'll hear of overweight folks who eat like 8 eggs, 12 pieces of toast and a pound of bacon for breakfast, or an entire pizza, 2-liter of soda, and whole bag of chips for dinner).  That wasn't me.  I ate “normal” meals, in that I was eating breakfast, lunch and dinner, with little to no snacking, and not eating tons of food at each meal.  My problem focused more on what food items I did eat.  I was eating fast food meal combos for breakfast and lunch most work days, and often having full-sized restaurant meals a few times a week for dinner.  When we cooked dinner at home, we used to eat lots of pasta and other heavy entrees and never measured out proper portions.  As a result, back then, it was nothing for me to eat more calories in one meal then I do in an entire day now without even considering the nutritional value (or lack thereof) of what I was eating.

Taking inventory is an important first step to losing weight.  Let me encourage you to start a food journal of your own.  There are lots of great websites and phone apps available that make it very simple and easy to keep track.  The one I use takes me less than 5 minutes a day to track everything I eat and drink.  When you come face to face with the true number of calories you’re consuming each day, along with the amount of sodium, cholesterol, fat, sugar, and carbohydrates you’re actually taking in, you may be as shocked as I was.  It may not be pretty to see the numbers, but it’s worth it if it causes you to start making healthier choices like it was for me!

Make a Choice, Make a Change

I recently ran across this saying, "Life doesn't come with a remote.  You've got to get up and change it yourself!"  Boy, did that resonate with me!

You see, it doesn't matter what aspect of life you're talking about...it could be weight loss, your finances, your job, your friendships, your marriage, your walk with God, or anything else you're dealing with...you CAN choose to find an avenue of change.  All too often, however, it's easy to think that there's only one way to change a situation, and you just can't seem to put your hands on it. 

It really is like the television remote.  You may be at home, with the TV all to yourself, happily watching your favorite show, and as it ends, something you really don't like at all comes on.  You want to change the channel, but you can't find the remote.  Your kids aren't around, so you can't call them in to come and change it for you.  You dig into the couch cushions, push the dog out of the way, and look under the blanket you're cuddled up under.  No remote.  You look again at the show that's starting and think, "hmmm...maybe this show isn't so bad after all," because you don't want to get up.  Before you know it, you've zoned out in front of a show you don't really like, but since it was there, you accepted it.  It's easier to just watch what's coming on then it is to make the effort to get up, walk across the room, and change the channel at the TV set itself. 

Isn't that like what happens in our life sometimes?  One day, you're going along, feeling like you're on the right track.  You're happy and enjoying the path you're on, but then, something comes your way that isn't the best thing for you.  Because of the effort it would take to change things for the better, you sigh and get comfortable with the mediocrity, negativity, or undesirable situation that has presented itself.  After a while, it feels like things have been this way for so long, that it would be impossible to make a change, so you just live with it, feebly appreciating today because you figure tomorrow will probably be worse.

That's how I used to feel about my weight.  I had resigned myself to the belief that being overweight was just my lot in life and that it was something I would always have to live with.  My clothes that I bought one month probably wouldn't fit the next month because I would most likely gain a couple more pounds before I wore them again.  It would stand to reason this would happen, since I have a family history of weight issues.  My parents were/are overweight and unhealthy.  Their parents were overweight and unhealthy.  So it stands to reason that I would be overweight and unhealthy as well...or does it?

The turning point in my life came when I realized that I was NOT powerless over my weight.  But, in order to do something about it, I had to make a choice to make a change.  I had to stop sitting idly by wishing and hoping things were different.  You can stand in front of the mirror all day long, hating what you see and desperately wanting to look and feel better, but nothing's going to happen until you decide to do something about it.  I chose to make a change, and after losing 108 pounds so far, I'm confident I will reach my ultimate weight loss goals.  Goals that a year ago were only a dream.  Goals that today are becoming my reality.  All because I made a choice and made a change.

Get up and change the channel...

Motivation

Motivation.  This is one of those buzz-words that gets thrown around a lot in different settings.  For instance, an employer wants to motivate his employees to increase sales.  A coach wants to motivate his team to win games.  A teacher wants to motivate her students to learn the course material, and so on.  But what is motivation, really?

According to one definition, motivation is, "providing with a reason to act a certain way" (thank you, dictionary.com!).  When I was young my mom used to try to motivate me to clean my room.  The reason behind it was that if I didn’t, I would be a in a lot of trouble, so her reasoning was plenty good enough for me at the time!  As a child, I didn’t want to clean my room all too often, but due to the parental pressure my mom was able to put on me, and the power she held over the consequences if I didn’t respond, I would eventually give in and get the job done, albeit reluctantly.  Hearing my mom recite the benefits of a clean room, however, was not enough to cause me to commit to keeping up with it, and every few days mom would have to, ahem…shall we say,  “encourage” me to clean my room once again.  It wasn’t until I moved out into my own home that living in a clean and orderly environment really became important to me.  Then, I no longer kept things neat because someone was looking over my shoulder and forcing me to, or trying to get me to buy into their way of thinking about it, but instead, I embraced the idea for myself and it became a part of me.  I keep my home nice because that’s how I want it to look.

This same principle holds true where weight loss and healthy choices are concerned.  It seems like everywhere you look, someone is trying to motivate you by shouting, “You need to loose weight!”  It might be the pressure of society that holds to a stereotypical view of what constitutes beauty.  This may come through portrayals in media or through the attitudes and opinions of people around you, sometimes even from close relationships.  Life and health insurance companies may be applying the pressure for you to meet their underwriting guidelines.  Your doctor may be telling you that you’re facing serious health issues if you don’t get your weight down.  Somewhere along the way, someone is trying to get you to do things differently for reasons they deem important, whether you buy into their reasons or not.

No matter where the voice originates, having someone else tell you that you need to make a change is rarely received well, especially when it deals with something as personal as your weight.  At best, some people temporarily cave to the pressures others put on them in this area.  They might lose a little weight initially, but because their reasons for doing it are not truly their own, it doesn’t take long before they falter and often regain what they lost, and then some.  This results in greater frustration and feeling worse than they did before.

So, how do you lose weight successfully and keep it off?  One of the answers to that question is that the motivation, the real reasons behind it, must truly be your own.  You need to know that you’re passing up fast food because your body functions so much better when you eat wholesome foods, not because someone else makes fun of you for eating french fries.  You have to want to give yourself the best chances at living a long life by reducing your weight, rather than having someone try to make you feel guilty that you may not live to see your grandchildren if you don’t drop some pounds.  You have to want increased strength, endurance, and the ability to function better in daily activities for yourself, rather than feeling like you have to look a certain way to impress people.  You have to believe that your body was a gift from God and should be treated with respect and well cared for, instead of accepting the super-sized portions and nutritionally void options that are so cheap, widely advertised, and readily available.

Having the proper motivation puts the “why” behind the “what” and enables you to make the right choices and leads to a healthy lifestyle!

A Marathon...In Bits and Pieces

I am, by nature, an extremely organized individual in many areas of my life, and weight loss is no exception.  Keeping up with data and creating charts and graphs has helped me identify trends in my progress and lets me readily see what efforts produce the best results.  In addition, having information such as my body measurements, BMI, BMR, body fat %, and other metrics on hand helps me see that this journey is about more than just the numbers on the scale.  Seeing the number go down on the scale is not my only goal.  Improving my overall health and fitness is also very important to me as well.  When those things are in balance, the numbers on the scale will follow.

On one of my progress spreadsheets I keep track of each of my workouts, including the name of each strength-training exercise, the number of sets and reps I do, and the weight I’m lifting (or pushing, pulling, etc.).  I also log my cardio work by what I’m doing, the amount of time I spend doing it, the distance I’ve gone (for swimming, walking, etc.), and my total calorie burn.  It’s quick and easy for me to use and with a glance I can see where I’m at each week and I can challenge myself to go a little further each time.

Today, as I was entering the stats from this morning’s workout, I realized something I found exciting!  Since joining the gym, I’ve included treadmill work in 18 of my workouts.  In the course of those 18 workouts, which totaled 9.9 hours of time, I have walked/jogged a total of 26.3 miles, which is just over the distance of a marathon!  Now, I understand full well that I have not, by any means, had the experience of actually participating in an actual marathon, but knowing that I have covered that distance over a few workouts feels pretty amazing to me!  Let me explain the significance of this…

When I look back to the time before I started implementing healthy food choices into my life regularly last June, mobility had started being a serious problem for me.  Due to issues with my sciatic nerve causing terrible back and leg pain (as the result of falling some time ago and it being unable to fully heal because of my weight), things as simple as moving from a laying down position in the bed to sitting up, or rising from the living room couch were excruciating, and often could take 30 minutes or more.  It was often accompanied by a lot of pain-filled tears and much prayer for strength and healing.  Once I was finally up and about, walking any distance over just a few steps was typically out of the question.  Even trying to make a short trip into a store would find me hunched over the buggy trying to relieve the pressure on my back within just a couple minutes of walking in.  Doing anything that required me to be on my feet for more than 5 minutes was next to impossible. 

As hard as it is to admit, being as overweight as I was before I started this journey, my life was hindered in everything from sleep, to playing with my children, to travel, to just about everything else that required physical activity.  When it’s painful to sit, stand, or lie down, there is little respite. As my weight has come down, however, the back pain has subsided greatly and my mobility has improved to where I don't have to worry about it anymore!  I now look forward to getting out and about and I’m not afraid of being somewhere that requires a lot of standing or walking.  The only time I think about getting around in a situation these days, is when I stop to realize how great it is to move freely again, and then I say a prayer of thanks to God for it!  I still deal with pain from time to time, but it’s not constant anymore, and it's nowhere near as bad as what it was before, and I believe it’s only going to keep getting better as I continue exercising and losing weight! 

So, when I look at my workout log and see that I’ve walked 26+ miles, it makes me see just how far I’ve really come and it gives me the motivation to keep going, because I know I’m definitely headed in the right direction!  Maybe...just maybe, one of these days, I just might go all 26 miles in the same day!

Looking Through Old Photos

With my 40^th birthday quickly approaching on Saturday (EEK! I’ve only got two more days to still say I’m “in my 30’s”!), I have been looking through hundreds upon hundreds (no exaggerating) of pictures this week.  I’ve been pulling out ones from significant moments in my life that my family is using to put together a slideshow for the party they’ve giving me this weekend.  As I’ve been reminiscing, so many of the photos have made me smile, laugh, and even brought tears to my eyes as I’ve been reminded of the people and events that have meant so much to me over the years.  I have been blessed greatly to be so surrounded throughout my life by people that I love, and who I know, without a doubt, love me!

I’ve mentioned in previous posts that I’ve been heavy pretty much my entire life, and looking through the pictures put that right back in front of me.  The last picture of me at a normal size for my age was when I was 15 months old.  The next photo I found was of me at 28 months old, and I looked like a totally different child.  Rather than starting to lose the baby face and thinning out like most toddlers do, I was rounder and a significantly overweight toddler.  Each photo afterwards showed that trend continuing as I grew up, and it goes on right through the photos taken in the spring of last year before I started this journey towards a healthy weight.

Today, however, things have changed and I stand on the edge of crossing into totally new territory.  I am currently wearing (and quickly shrinking out of) the size I wore as a senior in high school.  What that means, is that once I cross into the next size down, I will officially be smaller than I was when I graduated high school (waaaayyy back in 1990), and will be the smallest I’ve been in my entire adult life!  I am excited to experience life in my 40’s being the healthiest and most fit I’ve ever been! 

Why Am I Sharing My Story?

So...I have this blog, and I make posts on Facebook, and I talk freely to people who ask me questions or make comments about my weight loss...but why? Why am I so open about something that is so deeply personal? I mean, after all, I'm talking about what I eat, the clothes I wear, the exercise I'm doing, my health, and other facets of my life that only my closest friends and family members would normally know about. So why am I now discussing it publicly?
 
There are several reasons. First, I am not alone in making changes to a healthy way of living, but the only way to discover that is to be willing to talk about it. Since embarking on my weight loss journey, I have drawn strength and encouragement from talking to others who have been bold enough to share with me. Because weight is something that people are often embarrassed or ashamed about, or an area of their life they feel like they have lost control over, so many are fearful of talking about it. This fear isolates men and women every day by making them feel like weight is a taboo subject. Talking about it, however, connects you to those who understand what you're going through. Just knowing you're not alone is comforting.
 
Another reason I'm being very open about this is because I have a heart to help others who share the same struggles.  I have been very overweight my entire life. Ever since I was a toddler I've been heavy. I know what it's like to be the slowest one trying to run in gym class in school. I know what it's like to be ridiculed by both strangers and acquaintances because of my appearance. I know what it's like to have a horrible time trying to find clothes that fit, and to never feel like I look good.  I know what it’s like to be the biggest one in the room.  I know what it’s like to hide behind kids, pillows, animals, furniture, or friends to cover up as much as possible in photos.  I know what it’s like…to just want to be different than I am…By sharing my story I hope to encourage, to support, and to inspire others to know that they CAN make the life changes they so desperately desire.  It is possible!

A third reason for being so candid about my weight loss is that it holds me accountable.  When you’re extremely overweight, you have to lose a pretty significant number of pounds before your losses start becoming apparent to others.  Overweight folks often hide behind oversized and baggy clothes anyway, so even when the pounds start coming off, it may not be noticed for a while.  Because the fear of failure often lurks close on your heels when you try to change over to a healthy lifestyle, if you don’t tell anyone, then no one will know if you go don’t stick to your commitment.  I have to admit, it was very hard, initially, to tell people about the changes I was making.  But by doing so, I’ve developed a network of friends who check in on me regularly.  They ask me how it’s going at the gym and how many pounds I’ve lost each week.  This helps me stay accountable to working towards my goals.

Finally, and most importantly, by speaking out about where I’ve come from and where I’m headed, I get the opportunity to publicly acknowledge the fact that it has only been because of God that I’ve been able to achieve any measure of success.  The Bible says that we have power to overcome the things that seek to destroy us.  This includes issues with food and weight because they can definitely destroy you!  That power comes through the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross, thereby allowing you to have a relationship with him, and by the word of your testimony of what He has done for you (Revelation 12:11).  So, my testimony is that by surrendering this area of my life to Him, I’ve found healing for my past, strength for today, and hope for tomorrow…and you can too!

My One Year Weight Loss Anniversary...104.9 Pounds Lost!

WOW!  I can hardly believe it has been an entire YEAR since I began my weight loss journey!  Last year on June 16^th I stepped onto the scale and cried.  No, perhaps “sobbed” is a better word for it.  I couldn’t get my mind around the number that showed up on the scale.  I wondered how in the world had I let myself go like that?  I’ve always been overweight, but for crying out loud, not to that extreme! 

I had to make a change.  If I didn’t make a drastic turn around now, every medical statistic pointed towards a future defined by serious health problems and a shortened lifespan.  I made a decision that day.  I refused to give up a long and healthy life in exchange for a meal in a paper bag shoved at me through a drive-through window and served with a side of fries!

So, here I am, exactly one year later.  Only now, my tears are tears of joy!  I set a goal to lose 100 pounds in a year, and I’ve not only met it, but I have exceeded my goal!  I have lost 104.9 pounds in exactly one year!!!  Right now, I’m getting ready to head out to the gym this morning to have my 2^nd monthly check-in with my personal trainer, who is about to ramp up my workouts for my next phase of exercise as I start working on my year two goals, and guess what?  BRING IT ON!!!

So…what kind of difference can one year make?  Here’s what I’ve experienced over this past year:

- I have lost a grand total of 104.9 pounds!

- I have lost a total of 2.75 inches around my neck!

- I have lost a total of 4.0 inches around my chest!

- I have lost a total of 8.0 inches around my waist!

- I have lost a total of 13.0 inches around my hips!

- My BMI has gone down by 16.9 points!

- My reflux symptoms have all but disappeared and I no longer take any medication at all!

- I have gone down 5 sizes in clothing!

- I have gone from limited mobility (due to a combination of my weight and a back injury), to being able to walk/jog a 5K in under an hour!

- I have gone from being completely sedentary, to working out at the gym 4-5 times per week!

- I have gone from eating around 3,000 calories per day, to eating 1,500-1,600 calories per day

- I have gone from eating fast food 10-12 times per week to eliminating it from my diet!

- I have gone from struggling to carry bags of groceries from the car to the house, to lifting weights!

- I have gone from drinking approximately 64 ounces of diet soda per day, to drinking approximately 80 ounces (or more) of water per day!

As I look back over this year, I have been very blessed with incredible support along the way, and I would like to make a few special notes today, on my one-year anniversary…

I must give God the praise and all of the glory for giving me the strength to walk this path!  There are places He has mended in my heart and in my mind along the way, and I have let go of emotional weight right alongside the physical weight.  It’s only because of Him that I’ve experienced any measure of success!

I am also forever grateful to my sweet husband!  He has been my biggest cheerleader!  He has loved me and told me I was beautiful, no matter what size I have been.  He has prayed for me and helped me celebrate every pound I’ve lost.  There just aren’t enough words to describe my thankfulness for him.  He indeed has my heart!

Thank you to my encouraging church!  So many people have said positive things to me and been so encouraging to me!  I appreciate you very much!

Lastly, I have a small handful of people who have been praying for me and encouraging me privately since I began.  They have held my trust and as I confided in them about where I was starting from and where I was trying to get, and have continued to support me throughout.  They are a treasure to my life!

All of that being said…my work is far from over!  I have a good deal more weight to lose before I can consider myself done and move into maintenance mode.  I am ready to start moving towards my year-two goals!

Changed Thinking About Food

Is everything in my life now sunshine and roses because of my weight loss efforts so far?  Nope, I can’t say that it is, but by making healthy changes, I’m better equipped to function and handle each and every day.  I have the strength, stamina, and endurance for whatever comes my way, and the exercise helps me reduce stress and sleep better.  I have to say that making strides towards a healthy weight has brought nothing but benefits to my life!

There have been challenges I’ve faced in this process through this year though.  The biggest, I believe, has been in changing the way I think about food and getting a grip on how my thoughts and actions are so inter-connected.  Getting my mindset aligned with good nutrition and proper serving sizes has definitely has been the hardest part.  Once I got it, though, I really got it! Because I do eat in restaurants a couple of times each week, let me use that to give you an example…

In the past (old habit days), when I would eat at a restaurant, I would immediately scan the menu, looking to see what I could order that gave me the best value for my money, while filling my taste for rich, savory, “comfort” foods.  I wanted to make sure I got the most for my food dollars.  That typically resulted in some kind of deep-fried meat, with gravy, and two or three side items (can you say “macaroni & cheese” and “french fries”!) and some kind of bread basket, which I admittedly allowed to waiter to refill. 

Now, however, I go straight to the light or low-calorie section of the menu, looking for grilled meats and steamed vegetables (which I order to be prepared without butter or oils).  I occasionally have a piece of bread, but limit myself to one, and have the waiter take away the basket and skip the refills.  Instead of trying to get the most food for my money, now I’m trying to get the lowest calories and healthiest choice for my money!

Interestingly enough, it did not take a long time for me to implement this changed way of thinking.  Once I decided enough was enough (literally!) there was no looking back.  Initially, it was difficult.  I had to make the healthy choices whether I felt like it or not.  I had to force myself smile while I ordered the steamed vegetable medley instead of the loaded potato.  It was hard to pass up the dessert menu when the rest of the table was ordering cheesecake.  However, when the meal was over, I left the table physically full and satisfied from good foods, but more importantly, I felt empowered because for the first time in my life, I had control over food, rather than letting it have control over me! 

After just a few weeks, I no longer felt the tug-of-war between what I wanted to order and what I knew I needed to order.  Not only had my thinking and my actions changed, but I found that my tastes had completely changed as well!  I can honestly say that I really don’t crave the foods I used to eat anymore and it doesn't bother me in the least when others around me are eating high-calorie indulgences.

So, if you’re trying to make your own healthy choices, I would tell you that making a drastic change IS possible, but only if you change how you think about your food.  If you think about healthy food as the enemy, like it’s keeping you from what you really want to eat, or there’s no way you could possibly enjoy it, then you’ll have a long, hard road ahead of you.  If, however, you choose to remind yourself that you’re worth treating your body well, commit to making healthy choices, and start seeing good foods as your friend instead of your enemy, you’ll set yourself up for success!

Surviving Vacation

It has been a very busy couple of weeks!  Our family recently returned from a ten-day road trip to visit with family and friends that spanned over 2,200 miles.  We stayed in three different hotels in various parts of Kansas and Arkansas, as well as a few nights with my husband’s parents.  Did I mention we made the trip with our two boys, who are both under 8 years old?  Oh, and our dog, I can’t leave out the dog!  (Note to self: don’t ever feed the dog sausage from the hotel breakfast buffet right before getting on the road…it’s not pretty!)  We had a fantastic time, and when we got home we all still liked each other, so I consider the trip a success!

Being on the road and eating at restaurants and other people’s homes for so many days is difficult, at best, when you’re trying to maintain a 1,600 calorie per day eating schedule and wanting to get in a few workouts!  Through some creative planning ahead, and the understanding of my mother-in-law (who didn’t mind that I brought in groceries and prepared some of my own meals while we were with them), I managed to keep within my calorie budget throughout our vacation and to eat very much like I do when we are at home.  I feel very accomplished!

Eating right on this trip was probably the biggest challenge I have faced with maintaining my daily food goals since I began nearly a year ago.  Truth is, I was very nervous about it before we left on the trip.  By planning ahead and letting family members know beforehand that I would be eating differently, however, it helped to alleviate the stress.  Also, we eat at restaurants enough normally that I already knew what choices to make when we ate out while travelling and cooking wasn’t an option.

Through our travels, I was also able to get in four good swims in the hotel pools where I swam enough laps each time to get in a good workout.  So, even with travel, I purposely made time for exercise, something I would have never dreamed of doing a year ago! On the final day of the trip, after we got home and everything in and settled, I ran up to the gym for a while and knocked out a good strength training workout along with an hour of cardio. 

In the end, like everything else in life, it all comes down to choices.  You can choose to throw off all restraint because you’re “on vacation” and indulge in too many high-calorie foods, using the excuse that you, “want to enjoy yourself.”  Most likely, you’ll later regret that decision as you feel awful from eating such things, and/or, when you get home and step on the scale you’ll have a lot of extra work to do to play catch up for the pounds your indulgences cost you. Nothing sucks the enjoyment out of something like an upset stomach, or worse, a 5 pound weight gain!  But, you have another option...You can choose to eat with moderation.  You can take a few minutes to plan and build balanced treats into your day (yes, I had a couple bites of my mother-in-law’s Kansas Dirt Cake and a small slice of her homemade banana bread, but without regret and without going over my calories!)  By making the right choices, you can be proud of yourself for staying true to your commitment to a healthy lifestyle. 

When you choose wisely, you can look yourself in the mirror and know that this is who you have become…a person of balance, who is in control of your eating and able to make good choices that will contribute to your own health and well-being, and trust me, that feels AMAZING!

Getting Past the Fear

I mentioned in a previous post that I’ve recently joined a gym.  As I’ve lost weight, I promised myself that when I reached 100 pounds lost, I would look to join some kind of fitness center.  I recognize the importance of exercise, and the need to strengthen and tone as I continue moving forward in my progress.  A couple of weeks ago, around the time I hit the 97 pound mark, I received a flyer in my mail from a local gym that was offering incentives for women to join their new women’s fitness program.  I figured I was close enough to my first big goal to go ahead and check it out.

I felt great about signing up and taking out my membership with the gym!  I was confident going in to my first meeting with the trainer that this was the right program for me and that it had come along at the perfect time.  My first workout with the trainer went really well, as he walked me through the weight training machines I was to start with and gave me instructions about the cardio work I was to do.  That first meeting was on a Saturday, early afternoon, and the gym was relatively empty, so I wasn’t the least bit stressed about any of it, and was excited to really get going with it.

Two days later, on Monday, I pulled into the gym parking lot after work, around 4:30pm and gasped when I saw around 40-50 cars in the parking lot!  My only reservation about joining a gym was facing my greatest workout fear…exercising in a packed, co-ed gym…and that was what I was about to walk in to, on my very first workout without my trainer!

I sat in the car for a few minutes debating whether I would even go in or not.  I seriously contemplated just going home and coming back early the next morning before work instead, hoping it would be less crowded then.  I prayed for the courage to get past my fear, took a deep breath and headed in.  I rationalized that I could always leave if I couldn’t handle it.

Although I’m supposed to do my weight training first, there were several people already in the circuit area, so instead, I hopped onto a treadmill to do cardio.  While I was on the treadmill for 30 minutes, I realized that more and more people were coming in as it passed 5pm and folks were getting off of work.  I kept telling myself that I would just leave when I finished the treadmill and I’d skip the weight training for the day.  Out of curiosity, I went back to the circuit area one more time before I left to see if there was any chance it had cleared out any, and instead, not only were there more people back there, but there was also a class going on next to that area as well.

That was the moment where I knew I was at a crossroad and my decision would affect the way I approached the gym from then on.  I forced myself to go ahead and do my weight training, and to not pay any attention to anyone else around me.  By the time I finished, I felt victorious!  Not only was I satisfied with my workout, but even more, I faced my fear, pushed past it, and won!  In the two weeks since then, I have looked forward to every visit to the gym, and actually found myself smiling and greeting other people I see there regularly.  Intimidation is a thing of the past!

We all face fears.  Experiencing fear isn’t wrong; it’s going to happen from time to time.  It’s what you do with that fear that is important.  You can choose to let your fears paralyze you and rob you of an experience, or of your joy, or of your peace of mind…or of your future.  Or, you can choose to find the irrationalities that are embedded in each fear, counter them with the truth, and find success.  Sometimes, the things you push yourself to do, despite your fears, lead you to your greatest accomplishments!

Dropping Sizes...in My Fingers?

Just a funny little tidbit today...

As far as genetics go, I inherited my mother's thin wrists and long, skinny fingers.  I've often said through the years, that if only my body were proportionate to the size of my fingers and wrists, I'd be at the ideal weight!  When my husband and I got married almost 10 years ago, I was about 30 pounds heavier than I am right now, and my ring size was still only a 5 3/4.  Even as I reached my highest weight last June (which was 70 pounds heavier than when I got married), I never had any trouble wearing my rings.  My fingers, apparently, didn't get much bigger and my rings never got the least bit tight on me. 

As I've lost weight, however, my fingers have shrunk, which is not something I expected to happen! I came to this realization back at Christmas.  I was at a party with my hands laying in my lap when I heard a "clink" as my wedding rings literally dropped off my hand onto the floor!  While I was surprised, it felt like a victorious moment for me because suddenly, I felt like I was really making progress in my weight loss.  Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, I was doing some business at the bank and as I stood up from the desk to leave, my rings went flying off, landing about 10 feet away from me on the floor in the bank lobby!  The look on the bank representative's face was priceless!  I guess people don't come in and throw diamonds around the room too often!

So, last night, I gave in and took my rings to a local jeweler to have them sized down.  The sales associate helping me convinced me I should go down a half size to a 5 1/4, but I really thought a 5 would have been better.  Guess what?  Wearing them today, they're still too big!  They keep flopping around and the setting keeps sliding down until it's under my hand instead of on top where it belongs.  So, it looks like I'm heading back to the jeweler for another sizing, down to a 5.  I should have went with my gut instincts on it after all!

One of these days...my body is going to finally be in proportion with my fingers, and I am going to celebrate!

Drop the Excuses and DO IT!

If you read my last post, you saw that a medicine I took for a recent bout of respiratory illness caused some fluid retention and a temporary water-weight gain.  Well, thankfully, it has righted itself just as quickly as it began!  Since seeing the doctor on Thursday, the water weight is now gone, and my total weight loss is now up to 98.7 pounds (my loss tracker in the blog sidebar always rounds up once I pass each ½ pound and I believe in full-disclosure!).  Reaching the 100-pounds lost mark is so close!

A quick little encouraging tidbit I had this week...After being sick with the sinus infection and strep recently, and the water-issue with the two antibiotics and steroid dose pack, I told my primary care doctor that I had just joined a gym for the next phase of my weight loss.  Well, my primary care physician sent me to a cardiologist for clearance for exercise (which I got with no problem). Get ready for the cool part...

BOTH the primary doc and the cardiologist wanted to know in detail what I was doing to lose the weight I've lost in the last 11 months! All I've done, until joining the gym last week, was change my food habits and track what I eat in my food journal. My primary doc was very encouraging, cheering me on and telling me that the changes I've made in my eating and attitude are what it takes to be successful to reach my goals and maintain it for the rest of my life. The cardiologist said he wished that more of his patients would institute similar changes themselves and was very encouraging to me as well.

When you're on the brink of losing 100 pounds, but know you've got a lot more work to do to reach your final goal, it can be frustrating at times, but encouragement like that is a great motivator to keep on going!

That being said, I just want to you know that if you’re also trying to lose weight, be it 20 pounds or 200 pounds...you really CAN do this! No matter where you're at, or where you've come from in your struggles with food and weight loss, if you get honest with yourself and truly make the commitment to your well-being, you CAN get on the road to a healthier, smaller you!

I've been heavy my ENTIRE life, I'm about to turn 40, I have a CRAZY schedule (wife, mom, full-time employee at an investment firm, have two young sons under 8, serve as a pastor, and am in college working on my psychology degree), and I've found ways to make this work for my life. To do so, I've had to face every excuse I've ever made...you know the ones, like these:

"I'm so busy, I just don't have time right now"
"I'll do this when my kids get older"
"It's okay, I may be big but at least I don't have any health issues because of my weight"
"A lot of my extended family is overweight so it just runs in my family and I can't do anything about it"
"Healthy food is SO expensive"

“I’ve always been heavy, so I’m just meant to be this way”

“It’s what’s on the inside that matters, so why should I worry about my weight?”
"I don't want to eat boring, bland, diet food"

On and on the list goes...I finally had to say, ENOUGH! I was the only one who could make these changes in my life, and through a lot of prayers for strength and for getting my mind in the right place and to change my habits, I closed my eyes and jumped into the deep end of this thing and haven't looked back.

So, if you're working to reach your own goals, I applaud you, congratulate you, and want to encourage you to keep moving forward and celebrating each step you take that moves you closer to your goals!

Heading to the Gym

I have officially joined a gym! 

When I started this journey towards a healthy lifestyle and weight loss in June 2011, I did a bit of exercise on my own with video programs, but I only did that for the first few weeks.  Since then, I’ve had a few random days where I got outside and walked some, but haven’t really committed to any regular exercise until now.  There have been a couple of reasons for this…

My relationship with food has been skewed my entire life.  While my mom worked hard to make sure our family had meals on the table every day when I was growing up, almost everything she prepared was either canned or processed.  There were very few natural foods included in our meals and little cooking from scratch.  Consequently, I never really learned how to cook either.  Opening and heating really isn’t cooking!  Growing up like that also develops a tendency to continue gravitating towards those foods as an adult.  In addition, it became very easy for me to just “grab something” from a fast-food restaurant most days (often, more than once a day!) and blame it on my hectic schedule and lack of time to do anything else.  I have finally quit kidding myself and now recognize that a fast-food grilled chicken sandwich with a leaf of wilted lettuce thrown on it does not count as a healthy choice!

Over the last 11 months, I’ve had to redirect all of my food choices.  Before I could jump headfirst into an exercise schedule, I had to get my food issues straight first.  It would have done me no good whatsoever to head into a gym several times a week, only to run through a drive-through on the way home!  When I think back to the things I used to eat, sometimes I really can’t believe I used to put that junk into my body!  By getting my eating habits corrected first, I’ve avoided the trap of feeling like I can overeat or indulge just because I worked out.  I'm not working out so that I have an excuse to eat poorly.  I'm working out to tone and strengthen my body and to reach the point where I am lean and healthy.  Eating junk defeats the purpose!

In getting my food issues straightened out, I’ve developed a love for so many really healthy foods, and I’ve found that I truly prefer natural, whole foods.  I find myself craving things like salmon, watermelon, and broccoli, and cringing when I see someone eating a burger and fries.  Other people can eat it if they want it, but I just can’t even stomach the thought of it anymore.

I also think that I had to prove something to myself where food was concerned.  I had to lose the first 100 pounds or so through changes in my food only.  By doing so, it proved to me, once and for all, the effect that my food choices have on my body.  Because of that, I’ll never look back. 

Losing as much as I have through food choices only has also given me the confidence to know that I can do this!  When I walk into the gym, it’s with the knowledge that I am already successful, and working out is just going to help propel me further.  I don’t have to feel intimidated or out of place in the gym because I know how far I’ve already come. 

I have actually found myself excited about going to the gym…well, I wasn’t too excited on the day of my first full workout, but I’ll save that story for another post!

11 Months and Counting

I have recently passed my official 11-month weight-loss anniversary.  The stats were as follows:

            Month 11 Loss - 6.2 pounds
           
            Grand total Lost - 92.80 pounds

This particular weigh-in is a bit skewed however…I’ve been cranking along really well this month, and had actually lost a total of 11 pounds for the month and a grand total of 97.4 pounds altogether until the last few days, where I’ve had a wacky, and temporary, water-weight gain.  Let me explain…

My oldest son was kind enough to share his case of strep throat with me about 2 weeks ago.  While he got better quickly (thankfully!), for me, the strep turned into a very nasty sinus infection and case of bronchitis.  Three prescriptions and two weeks later, and I’m finally about over the junk, but one of the medicines I was taking caused a 5-pound increase in my weight over the course of 4 days.  AAAHHHHH!!! 

The medicine made me retain so much fluid so fast that I could hear my heartbeat whooshing in my ears, I had a terrible headache I couldn't shake, and my feet were swelling something terrible.  After visits to two doctors and them running a few tests yesterday, they discovered the culprit was one of the meds and not something to be concerned about, and gave me something to counteract it.  Since I don’t take any kind of regular medications on a daily basis normally, I’ve had more in the last couple of weeks than I typically have in a year!  I'm ready to be done with meds!

I know the fluid gain from the medicine was only a temporary thing.  Considering I’m only eating 1,500 – 1,600 calories per day, it would be impossible to be a true weight gain.  As of this morning, I’ve already shed 2 pounds since yesterday, so I should be back on track within another day or so. 

I’m looking forward to crossing the 100-pounds-lost threshold any day now!

Cleaning Closets

Well, I did it!  On Saturday, I took a HUGE load of my now-too-big clothes to the consignment store.  I’ve been telling myself I would do this for a while now, but my schedule has just been so crazy between family, work, school, and church that I just hadn’t been able to get an appointment set to take everything in until this past weekend.  And boy, did I take a bunch of stuff in on Saturday…117 hanger’s worth to be exact!  I would have taken more, but that’s all I could squeeze into my little car.  I’ve already got a second appointment set up for this Thursday evening to take in the rest, and I’ve probably got just as much, if not more, that I’ll be taking in then in the second load.

It’s interesting, because the owner of the shop told me that she normally limits consignors to 25 pieces at a time to bring in, but because of the sizes of the clothing I was bringing in, she would let me bring in everything I had at once.  She said that she gets calls regularly from ladies looking for these sizes, but that she never has anything in stock to sell to them.  She said she’s never really had a consignor bring in much in these sizes before, so she was excited to get them in and to let her customers know they were available.

While I’m happy at the thought of selling all of these clothes at decent prices and without the hassle of a yard sale, (and hopefully, quickly!) it really got me thinking…Buying clothes in the sizes I used to need was really difficult, and I can understand why most women of that size don’t consign their items.  It’s because, typically, they’re not going to let go of a piece once they find it in their size!  If an event comes up that requires a certain article of clothing, a large plus-sized woman can’t just run out to the mall or department store and pick something up or run from store to store until they find the perfect garment.  At the size I wore a year ago, there were only 2 local stores I could walk in to in an attempt to buy clothes.  And with that, most of the things in one of those stores didn’t even come in large enough sizes and I could only buy from there once in a while.  So if I needed something and the one store didn’t have it, I was probably in trouble.  There are a couple of catalogues I occasionally ordered from, but then I had to pay extra for shipping, wait for it to arrive, and hope I ordered the right size, which was always a gamble. 

As I was at home preparing and sorting the second batch of clothes to take into the shop, I started to feel a little stressed over it.  A random though popped into my mind as I put a favorite shirt into the pile, “What will I do if I need to wear this and now it’s gone?  Am I making a mistake selling these clothes?”  That’s where I stopped myself in my thoughts with a startling realization.  I can get rid of these things because I will NEVER need them again!  They don’t fit me anymore, nor will they ever!  This isn’t some passing fad or temporary thing that I’m doing.  I’ve made (and continue making) changes that are going to affect the rest of my life and it feels great!

I have one last closet to sort through tonight, and once those things are out, the only clothes I will still own are the new, smaller ones I’ve bought in the last couple of weeks that actually fit me now instead of being so big they were falling off, like my old ones had been recently doing (although some of the newer ones are starting to get a little big already!).  I’ve also got a few random costume pieces I have from various theatrical productions I’ve been in, and my wedding dress.  (Oh, and a couple of bins of large winter clothes I can’t consign until the fall season). Lastly, I saved back three pieces, a pair of blue jeans, a shirt, and a pair of sweat pants that were all in the biggest size I had reached.  One of these days, when I reach my ultimate goal, I’ll have some fun taking photos of my “then” and “now” clothes, and maybe we’ll stuff my whole family into one leg of my old jeans or something like that!  In the meanwhile, I may not have arrived yet, but I’m definitely on my way!

So...What do I eat?

I’ve talked quite a bit on this blog about the philosophy I’ve taken with my eating habits during my weight loss journey, but to this point, haven’t discussed, in detail what it is I’m actually eating these days.  Someone asked me recently, “So…what DO you eat?”  I thought I’d share a bit about it today!

Since I’m pretty new to this whole blogging thing and don’t know the rules about mentioning name brands (can I do that?) for now, I’ll stick to generalities.  If you want specific brand name information, email me at polytospan@gmail.com and I’ll be glad to tell you more.

First things first, as I’ve said before, I use a website and its mobile app to track my calories on a daily basis.  It takes approximately 5 minutes a day to keep up with, and truly, has been key to my success.  Tracking, along with measuring and making sure I’m actually eating the appropriate sized servings, is what has made all the difference for me.  I have a measuring cup and a cheap digital food scale at home, and a measuring cup in my desk drawer at work.  That’s the extent of my weight loss gadgets and gizmos or accessories!

I entered my height, starting weight, age and gender into the tracking app when I first began, along with my goal of losing 2 pounds per week, and it calculated the total number of calories I needed to eat per day to reach that goal.  It also gave me targets for things like fat, carbs, sodium, protein, cholesterol, etc.  Honestly, I haven’t focused on trying to reach the nutrient goals, because the food choices I’ve made within the calorie goal automatically makes me reach the nutrient goals.

When I first began, I was eating around 2,200 calories per day.  With each 10-pound weight loss, the app would reset my goals and my calorie allotment would go down according to my new weight.  As of today, my goal is 1,610 calories per day.  Because the calorie goal goes down slowly and incrementally, you don’t really notice it and it’s not a big deal.  It’s not like it makes you decrease by 500 calories overnight!

A sample of what I might eat in a day now, taken from my actual food journal looks like this:

BREAKFAST

1.5 cups multigrain cereal 165 calories

1 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk 35 calories

2 clementines 70 calories

SNACK

½ cup diced peaches 35 calories

1 cup blueberries 80 calories

LUNCH

2 slices high fiber multigrain bread 70 calories

1 wedge light cheese wedge 35 calories

6 slices deli turkey 50 calories

15 chips, baked potato chips 120 calories

2 tablespoons hummus 70 calories

SNACK

4oz. high fiber blueberry yogurt 50 calories

1 cup raw broccoli 25 calories

DINNER

6 oz. boneless pork loin 210 calories

1 cup broccoli 25 calories

½ cup corn 75 calories

½ cup roasted garlic mashed potatoes 120 calories

1 slice high fiber multigrain bread 35 calories

mixed greens side salad with cheese, croutons, tomatoes, cucumbers 110 calories

2 tablespoons fat-free dressing 45 calories

SNACK

1 serving drizzled popcorn pack 120 calories

TOTAL 1545 calories for the day

So, there you have it!  I eat all day long, as you can see, so it keeps me from ever feeling like I’m deprived or overly hungry.  It keeps my metabolism running smoothly and constantly, without overdoing it any one meal.  Our family also eats out a lot, so I'll address restaurants in another post some other day.

I’m eating real food, regular food, but in the correct serving sizes, and with attention to the choices I make.  Yes, I love broccoli and blueberries, and eat LOTS of them regularly, but I also couldn’t imagine life without bread or mashed potatoes!  I’ve simply found better options and healthier ways of preparing the things I really enjoy and have them in moderation.  I get to eat the same foods as the rest of my family, and we’re all healthier as a result.  I can live with that!

Caught in the Current

In the 10 months since I began my weight loss journey, I’ve been asked several times what it is I’m doing to lose the weight.  When I respond that I’m counting calories and keeping a food journal (which takes all of 5 minutes a day to facilitate), along with making better choices about what and how much I eat, most people have been hesitant to believe that is “all” I’m doing. 

(Yes, I did exercise a couple times a week for the first couple of months, and I’ve had the sporadic day or two here or there that I’ve done a little walking, but to this point, I have not engaged in any kind of regular exercise routine or committed to a workout schedule.  I need to, and I will.  I just haven’t gotten that worked into my schedule the way I’d like to just yet.  That’s my next mountain to conquer…)

Anyway…what I most often encounter is people asking me if I’ve tried some popular fad diet plan or the other, like:

           

            Have I used this meal-replacement plan?

            Did I drop a particular food type?

            Have I joined an accountability club? 

            Did my doctor prescribe something to help me? 

            Have I heard about that new appetite suppressant? 

            Am I doing the plan they talked about on that recent television show?

            You're only eating (fill in the blank) salads/protein/low-fat, etc. right?

The list goes on and on, but the honest answer to all the questions is a resounding “NO!” 

Yes, I have seen all the ads (read: mostly sensationalized hype!) and even personally known people who have experienced a measure of fast results from using these kinds of products and services.  At the end of the day though, here’s the real question…if you choose this route, is it something you can live with for the rest of your life?  For some people, the answer is a modified "yes" because they find their own way of incorporating these tools into their world and it works for them.  As long as it's a healthy choice in doing so, I'm all for it.  For other people, these things can be successfully used for a short period of time as a tool or quickstart before transitioning over to something more long term, and that's great as well. 

The truth is, however, for most people and most of the “get skinny quick” options, they are simply not sustainable over the long haul.  So many people that use them end up gaining back all they lost and then some and people find themselves utterly disappointed when they discontinue using them and the weight creeps back up.  Most of these programs don’t teach you how to go to birthday parties and fellowship dinners.  They don’t take into account holidays and anniversaries and other special occasions.  They don’t help you find ways to cook meals that your entire family can (and will) eat together each day, or what the best choice is when you go to a restaurant.  They don’t enable you to build the knowledge and resources it takes to succeed with life-long, successful weight loss that will carry you through every bite you take for the rest of your life. 

There is a flood of weight-loss options out there today, but for me, I’ve realized that I can’t let myself get swept away in the pull of the current.  Sometimes, it can sound tempting.  After all, if you’re trying hard to lose weight, who wouldn’t want to lose several pounds in just a few days, or melt away belly flab overnight???  But the reality is that I have to stick with the basic concepts of eating the right foods in the right amounts every day.  I’m working to reverse almost 40 years of poor eating habits, and I can’t get that in a pill, or powder and it doesn't happen overnight.  I can’t rely on a temporary formula to cause a permanent change.  I must do this, one bite at a time!

Months 9 and 10 Progress Updates

I just passed my 10-month mark and I realized that I never posted an update last month, so here are the recent stats:

            At my 9-month weigh-in, I had lost a total of 79.6 pounds, which included 5.5 pounds for the month.

           

            At my 10-month weigh-in, I had lost a grand total of 85.9 pounds, which was 6.6 pounds for the month.

           

            I have lost 26.2 pounds so far during calendar year 2012

            I have lost a grand total of 88.8 pounds

There you have it!