Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Cheerleaders

I have passed the 75 pounds lost milestone!  I should have posted a few days ago to celebrate, but have been so busy, I haven’t had a chance.  I am currently at a total loss of 77.8 pounds, as of this morning.  That 100 pound mark will be here before I know it!

As I continue to lose weight, I’m finding people’s reactions to be interesting.  A few snippets:

Back when I was at the 63 pounds lost mark, I went to new doctor, and as he was reviewing the nurses notes and doing his intake assessment, he looked at the notes, then up at me, then back to his notes, then looked at me and asked, “You’ve LOST 63 pounds???” The tone in his voice and the look on his face said he thought the nurse had written it down wrong and that it was more likely that I had GAINED the weight, instead of losing it.  I responded saying, “YES!  I have LOST the weight…”  He replied, “Oh, okay.  I wasn’t sure if I had read that right…”

On the flip side…

I went for a visit to my regular primary care physician’s office right around the 70 pounds lost mark, and the nurse was so excited when she read the number on the scale.  She then asked me how in the world I was doing it, and proceeded to write down everything I told her, saying that I looked wonderful and that she needed to do whatever I was doing!

On another occasion…

I attended an event recently, and a good friend came by my table and asked me how much I had lost.  At that point, it was 74 pounds.  She was very encouraging to me about it, and as she walked away, I felt great about myself!  Another person at the table, however, looked me up and down, raised an eyebrow, and said, “74 pounds?  Really???” With a look that clearly stated that she didn’t believe I had lost weight.

I guess I share all of that, to say, that the realization I’ve had is this…

Not everyone is going to be my cheerleader…and I’m okay with that!

Weight loss is something very personal.  And, while some people may notice the changes I’m experiencing and comment positively, others may not.  In the end, it doesn’t really matter what others may think, because I’m doing this, first and foremost, to be obedient to the things I believe God has spoken to me.  I’m also doing this to become healthier and to beat the odds that my extended family has established and experienced in the past.  I’ve been blessed to be very healthy to this point, and that’s the way I want to keep it as I get older.  I want to be able to be active with my family, and in the ministry, and I don’t want to be hindered by illness or mobility issues.  Those are just a few of the reasons for me to lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle.

Even though everyone I encounter certainly won’t care about my journey, I’ve been blessed with a handful of close friends who are such an encouragement to me, and those are the voices I have chosen to allow to speak into my life.  To each of you, I say a huge THANK YOU!!! 

Friday, February 17, 2012

8 Months – 74.1 pounds

I have just crossed the 8-month mark in my journey.  During the month, I lost 6.8 pounds, which brings me to a grand total 74.1 pounds so far.  I’m happy with my progress, but I would have liked to have crossed the 75-pound mark this month.  It’s so close!

In the last few days, I think that I have caught some kind of mental “second wind” so to speak.  When I started on this path, I set several goals for myself.  I’ve been trying to focus on these smaller, “mini-goals” to keep myself encouraged and motivated along the way.  It has been good to feel the sense of accomplishment that has come every so often with reaching those levels.  They have come in different forms.  For instance, while some are specific pounds to lose, others include being able to wear a smaller size jeans, increased endurance while walking longer distances, and getting rid of all of the clothes I had in my closet that were too big. 

From the beginning, however, the number of pounds I need to lose to reach my ultimate goal weight has seemed ridiculous, it’s so large a number, and I’ve had so many times where I doubted that I could ever lose that much.  I want to...I need to…I’m trying to…but I often wondered if I really could?  This week, though, something has changed in me.  For the first time since I began, I really and truly believe that I will reach my ultimate goal.  It doesn’t feel like something I’m just hoping and trying to do, but is something I am actually going to accomplish! 

A good friend sent me an email this morning.  She told me that when our pastors were standing up front at church this past Sunday morning, that when she saw me, at first, she didn’t realize it was me because my face had changed so much with my weight loss.  Her words were a great encouragement to me, and as the day has went on, I’ve been thinking a lot about her statement.  My friend may have been talking about my outward appearance, but when I look inside myself these days, I hardly recognize myself either.  I’ve realized that I’m losing more than just pounds…

Gone are the excuses as to why I got as heavy as I did. 

Gone is the lax attitude I had about gaining weight (I’ve been overweight my entire life, but was shocked to realize that, before I started working on losing weight last June, I had gained, on average, a pound a month for the prior seven years!)

Gone is the girl who would stand in front of the mirror and weep because she was so disgusted with herself. 

Gone is the feeling of helplessness about my weight.

Gone is the fear of failure.

In place of these things, there stands a strong woman.  One who can accomplish much and has no reason to limit herself.  One who now understands that she is not alone.  Her isolation was self-imposed, and she will never return to that place again.  One who knows that her heavenly father cares about every aspect of her life in a whole new way.  One who will live the rest of her life in freedom!

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”  Philippians 4:13