Friday, February 17, 2012

8 Months – 74.1 pounds

I have just crossed the 8-month mark in my journey.  During the month, I lost 6.8 pounds, which brings me to a grand total 74.1 pounds so far.  I’m happy with my progress, but I would have liked to have crossed the 75-pound mark this month.  It’s so close!

In the last few days, I think that I have caught some kind of mental “second wind” so to speak.  When I started on this path, I set several goals for myself.  I’ve been trying to focus on these smaller, “mini-goals” to keep myself encouraged and motivated along the way.  It has been good to feel the sense of accomplishment that has come every so often with reaching those levels.  They have come in different forms.  For instance, while some are specific pounds to lose, others include being able to wear a smaller size jeans, increased endurance while walking longer distances, and getting rid of all of the clothes I had in my closet that were too big. 

From the beginning, however, the number of pounds I need to lose to reach my ultimate goal weight has seemed ridiculous, it’s so large a number, and I’ve had so many times where I doubted that I could ever lose that much.  I want to...I need to…I’m trying to…but I often wondered if I really could?  This week, though, something has changed in me.  For the first time since I began, I really and truly believe that I will reach my ultimate goal.  It doesn’t feel like something I’m just hoping and trying to do, but is something I am actually going to accomplish! 

A good friend sent me an email this morning.  She told me that when our pastors were standing up front at church this past Sunday morning, that when she saw me, at first, she didn’t realize it was me because my face had changed so much with my weight loss.  Her words were a great encouragement to me, and as the day has went on, I’ve been thinking a lot about her statement.  My friend may have been talking about my outward appearance, but when I look inside myself these days, I hardly recognize myself either.  I’ve realized that I’m losing more than just pounds…

Gone are the excuses as to why I got as heavy as I did. 

Gone is the lax attitude I had about gaining weight (I’ve been overweight my entire life, but was shocked to realize that, before I started working on losing weight last June, I had gained, on average, a pound a month for the prior seven years!)

Gone is the girl who would stand in front of the mirror and weep because she was so disgusted with herself. 

Gone is the feeling of helplessness about my weight.

Gone is the fear of failure.

In place of these things, there stands a strong woman.  One who can accomplish much and has no reason to limit herself.  One who now understands that she is not alone.  Her isolation was self-imposed, and she will never return to that place again.  One who knows that her heavenly father cares about every aspect of her life in a whole new way.  One who will live the rest of her life in freedom!

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”  Philippians 4:13

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